why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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