So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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