woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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