its not stalking. its research.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
