we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
