I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
