I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
