how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
