my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
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Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
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We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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