pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
