i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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