It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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