I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
