Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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