Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
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Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
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sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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