have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
