I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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