I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
