i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
