Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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