can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
