I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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