you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
