we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
