based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
