so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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