Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
