69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
