I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
