I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
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You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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