You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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