addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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