xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
