I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
