i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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