does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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