Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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