I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
