I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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