Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
