let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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