Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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