So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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