that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
