I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
