also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
