It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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