I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
