i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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