I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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