One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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