She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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