your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
