Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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