I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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