my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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