I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
