ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Houston, we have a blender
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
