I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
