yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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