i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
