What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
