you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
They have beer where we have blood.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
