I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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